If Life is a Fashion Show, then where is the stage?

Some people don't really 'get' my analogy of life being a Fashion Show and that's okay.  My opinion of where we are at, what we do, who we choose to associate with.....those things that make up our individual casts and shows in my opinion are all pliable.  Situations created by each one of us and formed into the exact 'fashion show' that we have chosen at any given time.

I've been waiting for some kind of inspiration for another blog and.....well, I think I have found it.  You can decide for yourself if you think it was worth my time.....I have already decided that it is....for me.  You see, we have all been given the ability to CHOOSE.

Sitting here this morning, I am reading Facebook posts of friends, texting a couple of them, listening to the radio and reading the odd news article.  I am surrounded by minor chaos, as is my normal.  The dishwasher is not quite ready to run,  the pan from last night's supper is still on the stove, the toaster is still on the counter, the porch has some plant pots  and a bag of dirt on the floor that need to be taken out to the garage and in the hall sit some articles that I removed from the spare room.

 My messy, chaotic view.

1/2 the dusting is completed in the living room, the bathroom floor needs sweeping if not washing and don't even get me started on the office!!  If I went downstairs, I would find A few Christmas decorations that made it as far as the downstairs table (Yes I know!!  It is July!!).  My surroundings are definitely not in 'show ready' appearance.  But ....my bed is made!! 

Accomplishment for the day - Bed is made!!

(Inspiration video by a Navy Seal - https://youtu.be/KgzLzbd-zT4 )

Regardless of how many tasks are 1/2 done, how messy or unorganized my life may look at this very moment, that is exactly what I have created.  This is where I am, this is my life right here and now.  This is my present ‘stage’ whether you look at it as a platform a place or a period of time…..it is my stage.   I could have chosen to finish straightening the kitchen last night before I went to bed, but I didn't.  I could have finished straightening the spare room for the student from France who will arrive tomorrow evening, but again, I didn't.  Instead I chose to play with our new kitties, teach our dog some leash manners, watch some meaningless TV with my husband, wash my dirty feet (my feet are usually dirty all summer) and go to bed.  And....I am happy and content with each of those decisions.  And right now I am choosing to write a blog telling you how unorganized I am rather than getting my shit together.  Again......happy with that!!  I am choosing to be happy.

Yes, my stage looks a bit chaotic......maybe that's the theme of my Fashion Show at this moment.....unorganized chaos!!  Not only is my house somewhat awry, so is my yard and my mind……within my Fashion Show I am trying to sort out thoughts, objects and feelings all at the same time.  Who knows what twist it will take? I may have the show become an educational piece on how to get things done, I may choose to make a documentary on hoarding, I could make it a study on looking within ones self for happiness, or maybe a piece on being content in whatever situation or surroundings you are in.  Whatever I choose, again, my choice!

I love getting dressed up and going to fancy places.....but I also love crawling around in a muddy garden!!

You see, I feel that we should not be a slave to our surroundings.  We can be joyous in a garden covered in mud, a fancy restaurant in our finest clothes, in The South Pacific on the beach in a palm hut or at in Dubai in a $2500/night room.  We can be happy and spread joy to others no matter how much money we have in our bank account, or even if we don't have a bank account.....or a pot to piss in for that matter.

It doesn't matter who we are with, what we are doing, where we are.......there is always only one constant that truly matters and that is how we CHOOSE to react to all of those circumstances.

Choosing to stop and enjoy the sunset on my bike ride.

Some days I think about what other's perception of me and my life is......if they think I'm lazy, unorganized, maybe a little crazy, brilliant, kind or conniving .....but then I realize that whatever they think is their choice as well.  They might think I'm chaotic or have a free and artistic spirit, they may choose to believe my house to be unorganized or a collection of beautiful antiques.  They could choose to feel that I am being supportive or that I am being condescending.  What I have come to realize is that what others think about or choose to believe has really nothing to do with me and everything to do with them.  They will choose their decisions and feelings no matter what I do, no matter how my house looks.  And, if I try to make my decisions on what I perceive their opinions to be.... life just gets very messy.  Maybe that's where I am sitting right now…….in this mess of my perceived chaos.

Regardless of others, today I will choose to be happy in whatever I do, I might get a lot accomplished and maybe I won't.  If someone's needs me for something that I feel is important, I might put off cleaning the spare room.....our student may have to dust his own dresser....and he will decide if that is important to him....or not.  It may take me all day to get my thoughts written out in this blog……maybe it will come quickly, or maybe I will have to leave it sit for another week…..

Whatever I choose, it is mine, not yours.  Whatever you choose, it in turn is yours, not mine.  Some people choose to live in immaculate surroundings, some on the streets.  Some people function well in organized creativity, others in chaotic non direction.  For whatever reason, some people feel that their struggles are what makes them, others find their successes more defining (but then, what is your definition of success).  Each of us are our own individuals and we direct our Fashion Shows in whatever way we choose at that moment.

I want you all to know that in my Fashion Show I am the super model.  The perfect model (of myself). Everyone in my show is compared to me and I look at their lives in comparison to how I feel about it from where I am.  Some I will strive to be a mirror image of, others I would never want to be like.  And who knows, maybe I would act, be and react in exactly the same as those who's actions I disagree with if I were in the same situation…..

Yep!!  This is me!!

Everyone is different from me, so I cannot hold a judgement of them, only of my imagined self in their situation.  I am not sure that we even have the ability to judge others ……. for we can only judge our selves, our feelings, our choices as we would react to what we perceive to be their situation…..their choices…..their beliefs.  

I am not sure that we even have the ability to judge others.....

In that, please know that I support everyone’s Fashion Show and look on comparing it to who and what I know….Me.  The way in which you cast me is your choice.  You may cast me in a supporting role or maybe I am perceived as the villain to conquer.  Regardless of how you cast me, I send you my love, support and the wish that your fashion show is everything you desire it to be.

Sometimes the sky is my stage as I completely lose myself in its beauty!!

Oh, and the answer to where your stage is?  The same as everything in your Fashion Show……right where you are, because YOU are the star of the show‼

Love ya!

Lorna

Prescription for a Good Life

Sitting here in May of 2018, you would think that we, as a society of educated, intelligent, human beings would have figured out the prescription for a good, if not a great life.

Our lives have become so easy and instant (if we want them to be).  You would think that we would have a pill by now that we simply take and our lives would miraculously become exactly what we wanted....a happy pill, a rich pill, a confidence pill....sounds simple enough doesn't it?  And maybe we do have these in the form of drugs, and get rich quick businesses....hmmmm.

The thing is, as with every prescription, these drugs and businesses are only treating the symptoms and not the underlying cause of the illness or problem.  So....what is the underlying cause of everything we experience?  Well silly, it is us!!  We are the ones who choose if we are going to be happy or sad, content or restless, relaxed or busy, clean or messy, fast or slow and yes, even sick or healthy and rich or poor.  Believe it or not, we have the power and ability to choose each and every path that we take in life.

Of course there are outside influences, but that is all that they are...OUTSIDE!!!  We have the ability to keep them locked out, or let them in and become our reality.  Some of these influences are wonderful!!  They build us up, give us confidence, defend us, cheer us on, compliment us, teach and help us to excel in ways we didn't even know that we could!!  These are the influences that we want to open the door for......unfortunately when we open the door for them, sometimes they have some tag along friends that sneak in uninvited.  Those influences that tell us we aren't good enough, smart  enough, talented enough, tall enough, short enough, rich enough, strong enough.......I am sure we have all encountered these fellows....I know that I have!!

The prescription that I believe we are all looking for is sitting right outside our beings and ringing the doorbell!!  The trick is to openly invite those remedies in and not let the inflictions sneak in while we have the door open.  Things and circumstances change, so we too have to keep readdressing our dosage and will even have to change the prescription from time to time.

The Japanese word "kaizen" means 'continuos change for the better', and I believe that this is a brilliant word to live by.  (I somehow feel that I may have been Japanese in a former life as I feel very at home and connected there.  I resonate with so many of their ways and beliefs).

Myself in Japan in 1980

Many of you have heard me refer to the fact that, like a plant, if we are not growing then we are dying.  There is no coasting in life.....it is like breathing, we may think that we are holding our breath - but as we are doing it, our body is simply using the reserve in our lungs to carry on......if we never take another breath ....then our demise is evident.  Luckily, most times, our body demands that we take a breath and start up our 'living' once again!!

The Japanese reference of Kaizen means to me that we are not only living or dying, but taking it one conscious step further in that we are also improving or declining.   Making a continual effort to improving!!  What a great way to spend ones life!!  No more of this 'I have a good job (which I hate by the way) so I will simply stay in this safe yet mundane environment until my retirement'.  Why spend even one day of our lives being bored, sad, average, or safe!!  Get up, live each day seeking out what makes us happy, fulfilled, joyful!!  Even if it it is a requirement thatwe go to our boring job, why does our entire day have to follow suit?  Create a space and time in your day for growth, something that makes you smile, rejoice and be, not only proud, but grateful.

I have a wonderful marriage and a husband who may not always understand me, but I know that he  appreciates and loves me.  We live in a beautiful house that more than meets our needs.  We have enough of everything we need and more in material possessions.  We go on vacation at least once a year and have friends all over the world.  We have a remarkable son who has married an incredible woman and together they have blessed us with 4 amazing Grandchildren.  We have family who support us and friends who love and admire us like family.

You may think that my life has no challenges, because that is exactly the way I live it.  I could have stayed stuck in the fact that I was a teen searching for love and acceptance of my peers by partying, doing drugs and various other harmful acts.  I could have been that single Mom who was rejected by the father of her child and his family and stayed bitter and angry that I had to raise my son on my own instead of embracing parenthood and working as many jobs as it took to make ends meet and our little family happy.  I could have not taken the chance at being rejected by a very devout Catholic family who were appalled that their youngest would date a woman who was unwed when she became pregnant, instead of following my heart and finding not only an amazinf partner, but a loving and caring family that treat my son as one of their own.  I could have stayed in a job that I dreaded going to every day because it was a decent and steady paycheck, instead of taking a leap of faith that I could excel as my own boss and as a contributing partner on the farm.  I could have stayed in a relationship that I was questioning and wondering about instead of seeking guidance and counselling to make it something to be excited about and proud of.  I could have believed those who called me a horrible, evil person instead of sending them love and forgiveness and moving to the knowing that I am a loving and supportive person with only the best of intentions.  I could have stayed home yesterday to plant the garden and been miserable because I got rained out instead of heading off to my Grandkids' Soccer Tournaments and being showered with hugs, kisses and "I Love You Grandma"s!!  Yes - each and every day I could choose to have a horrible life, but I don't - I choose to acknowledge my feelings (good and bad) and strive to be happy, grateful, open and supportive each and every day.  I am choosing the best life I am capable of. 

Myself taking a Shamisen class during the most recent time we were in Japan.

I definitely agree with the Japanese belief that Kaizen is a way of life, a prescription for a good, if not a great life!!  I will continue to follow my quest for education, understanding and enlightenment, be it through classes, travel or simply visiting a neighbour.  I am not saying that there will be no challenges, I only say "Bring them on!!" for that only enhances the desire to learn, do and make things better!!  When I am faced with one of those seemingly unsurmountable obstacles, I may faulter, but I am of the belief that I have the ability, and certainly the stubborness (or determinatioin) to work through it, learn from it and become a better person for it.

My wish for you is that you don't stay stuck in the boring, mundane or 'safe' areas of your life, but that you seek out the "KAIZEN" (continuous change for the better) in your life.  Make the choice of prosperity over poverty, curiosity over not knowing, excitement over mediocre and a GREAT life over the good one that you are sitting in.

All my Love

Lorna

Unfinished Business

My Fashion Show (life) resumes....as a Blogger that is......in reality, it has never stopped!!

Today I was inspired to resume some of my writing...or journaling, or scripting as I like to call it here in my "Life is a Fashion Show" blog.  I fought off the urge for a while, knowing that I had other things to do......book work is always looming, housework is never done, I have close to a million projects going on at any given moment......

As those who know me know, and if you are reading this Blog and don't, I will tell you, that I am always looking for ways to grow and improve - I love taking classes, reading books, watching videos or documentaries to expand my thoughts, and of course travelling to expand my horizons and the way that I look at and see the world.  

Today was no different - I opened up the current book that I am reading as part of a Class that I recently enrolled in and proceeded to do the task that it suggested.  The task was to write down all of the 'limiting' things that my parents told me I 'was'  as a child growing up.  Things like;  you don't work hard enough, you are lazy, you are messy, you are irresponsible.....  Then it said to expand even further and write down those things told to me by my siblings, peers, teachers, co-workers...I continued to write things like; you aren't good enough, you are skinny, your nose it too big, you are flat chested, you are too emotional, etc......at first it was difficult, but as I started pulling up those memories it seemed to get easier....before I knew it I had 2 large pages filled with negative tings that I had been told i "was".  Now the book didn't say what I was to do with those thoughts, only to sit and reflect on the feelings that surrounded them.  To reflect on the way that I felt about myself either as a result of or in spite of the words I had written.  Although a lot of those opinions or words that were said to me still seem to resonate, a lot of them I have laid to rest where they belong - in my past.  

I had watched a video (and shared it on Facebook if you would like to see it) about this very thing earlier today......how we become what people tell us we are, but also that we have the ability and power to rewrite our life - change our beliefs, grow into what we want to become, or direct our own Fashion Show so to speak.  That our "I Am" statements become our truths so we should make them great ones.   

I know that my parents, and pretty much everyone in my life have only ever told me things to make me a better and more fulfilled person.  When I was told that I wasn't responsible, they wanted to encourage me to be more so.  When I was told that I was messy, they only wanted to motivate me to become more neat and organized.  When I was told that I wasn't good enough, it was done so that I would practice harder and become better......

So - I decided to take action - to change my thoughts, to step up to the challenge that was laid out for me today and get busy working on my own thoughts and beliefs.  I chose to burn all of those remarks and write my present script in a more loving and nurturing manner.  The picture of the fire below is of those very writings from my past going up in smoke.  It didn't happen easily - I had to nurture the flames, blow on them a bit, use a couple of matches when the flames dwindled, add a bit of kindling...... Much the same as getting those thoughts out of our heads, one has to keep adding fuel (matches) to combat the set backs, thinking good thoughts (kindling) to replace the bad, motivation and encouragement (blowing on the coals) to keep us moving forward.......

I have so much "Unfinished Business" that I want to attend to, Things that I have carried around for years that need to be laid to rest.  New lands to discover, ideas to be explored and people to meet.  The weight of the past will most certainly try and sneak into my present from time to time, but for now, I am proactive, I am determined, I am capable, I am smart, I am talented, I am beautiful, I am loved, and I will keep doing what I need to do to make myself and the world around me the best darned Fashion Show that I am capable of creating!!

Thanks for the read - I hope it inspires or motivates you to be the "Best You" as well!!

The fire that burned all of the limiting beliefs that I had been carrying around with me since childhood.

Trip to Lovina - Indonesia 2014 (week #2 continued)

THURSDAY, JANUARY 23, 2014 AT 12:00 PM
Today we started an adventure to
the north!!
We had our usual breakfast and were picked up promptly at 10:00 in the back road by the market by Darin, our cabby for the day. It is overcast and rainy, so will be a great day for a road trip.
 We stopped at various places along the way to take pictures and also at the Luwak Coffee plantation to learn about and test Luwak or Poop Coffee!! It is very expensive. We paid $30 for 100gms of Luwak Coffee, so if we offer you some when you come over, you will know that you are pretty darned special!!

Also bought a couple of our favorite teas, the Mangosteen and the Saffron. You will have to come and try them, they are super tasty!!
We stopped a couple more times to take some photos...learned that the reason the big fruit bats don't fly away when they are at a tourist spot and have people poking and prodding them, is that they need to have a long fall to start flying....kind of like a hang glider.....we learn something new each and every day - don't we?!?
Stopped for lunch not far from our hotel at a lovely Oceanside restaurant. Our most expensive meal here so far!! The boys had water and I had a beer and we all had the chicken 'full meal deal' and it cost us over 500,000!!!! That was completely ridiculous!! We could have had 200 meals at the market for that!!
Got to our hotel and it was raining.....so pretty much just got settled. Ted was feeling a little queazy from the long drive up and down the mountain anyway, so it was nice to just relax a bit.
Had supper at the hotel Restaurant (much more reasonably priced) and hit the hay. 


Today is March 11, 2018.......over 4 years later since I started this page of my Blog and never finished.....

I will rename it "Unfinished Business" and post it as is to remind myself, that although our past never goes away, it does not define us.  We can do and be whatever we want to in the present.  Yes, it is true that this post was never complete....and mat never be in your eyes........but for me, it is done, finished, forgotten.  I have moved on to different interests and times.....

Don't get me wrong, I still remember the rest of that trip to Lovina....it has had lasting effects on myself, Ted and many other people.  Some day I may complete the dialogue of this trip, but not today.  I choose to make the decision to move on and I am okay!!!!